The facts are that 75% of all US and 50% of all Canadian
marriages end in divorce. Divorce is rated number two on the
scale of the most life altering stressors. During this difficult
time you have to deal with everything thrown at you, all at
once. It is a difficult, confusing and intimidating time to say
the least.
Initiated or not, both spouses are put in the situation of
requiring a lawyer, usually for the first time. At $100 to $300,
sometimes more per hour, you fight to get 50% of your assets,
only to give a large portion of it to your lawyer. It could
amount to 10% or more of your half of the assets. That means you
are really dividing 80% of the total marriage assets, instead of
100%.
Why are you sharing 20% of your marriage assets with your
lawyer? This money is yours and you children’s!
Understandably, both sides are unprepared, having multiple
issues to deal with at once, so they hand over control of their
lives to their lawyer. They feel their lawyer will only think of
and work for them. You must realize your lawyer has hundreds if
not thousands of clients. You are only a file number to them.
If you saw your lawyer at the store there's a good chance he or
she will not recognize you. Your lawyer took your case,not
because they care about you, but because they care about the
income you will provide. The lawyer would have taken your
spouse's case had he or she gone to them first.
Why then would you let your lawyer make these life altering
decisions for you? Knowing this, why would you hand over control
of your divorce, your life, your future to your lawyer? Under
this situation, when the divorce is over, both sides feel taken
advantage of by their spouse and their lawyer. They have spent
$100’s to $1000’s of dollars unnecessarily.
This scenario can be avoided by preparing for your divorce in
the same manner as you would buy a TV.
When you decide to buy a TV, would you go to the store and tell
the salesman to pick a TV, any TV for you, the leave the store
knowing you'll get whatever TV the salesman wants you to have?
NO WAY!
You wouldn't give a salesman that much control over your money!
He or she would certainly take advantage of you. You would have
spent $100’s of dollars unnecessarily.
Instead, you would research and compare, brands, size,features,
color, sound. You would take brochures home and think which
would benefit you best. You decide what you can afford and which
model and store would give you the best value for your hard
earned dollar.
You can do the same to prepare for your divorce.
Research the costs, benefits, and how it affects your life. How
much does your lawyer charge? What retainer fees would he/she
require? Are you comfortable with that? If not, find another.
Your lawyer is YOUR employee.
What does he/she charge for things like faxes, phone calls etc
All miscellaneous necessities involved in your case can either
be reduced or eliminated. You just need to ask how! Your lawyer
will not voluntarily tell you how to save money on your legal
fees. That would be against his/her best interests! Unless you
are earning more than the $100 to $300 per hour your lawyer is
charging you, you should do the legwork.
Gather all the information required regarding your marriage and
financial situation. What was your's, pre marriage? Is there an
inheritance or business involved? Look over all of your
financial papers, noting account numbers and balances. Do a full
financial disclosure so both you and your lawyer will know where
you stand at the first meeting. Your lawyer will take care of
informing you of the actual laws of your state/province. You
should have knowledge of and take care of everything else.
You need to discover the personal and financial consequences
pertaining to your situation so you can minimize them.
By preparing you will be able to make informed decisions that
will put you in control of your divorce. You will be in a
position to negotiate with your spouse and your lawyer with
self-confidence. Amongst the multiple benefits of preparing for
your own divorce are retaining more assets as well as reducing
your legal fees.
After all, there's more at stake than choosing the wrong TV.
About the author:
Liz Wertman "Divorce Strategy for Men and Women" is an insider's
view on legal, financial, tax and personal issues. Written with
compassion and understanding. http://www.divorcewell.com
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